Spoils of War
by Sidalee
Summary: Steve tries to romance Kono. It turns out that it's easier said than done.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognize…

**A/N:** Okay, the thing is that I have like a truckload of McKono ideas and some of them just don't fit the Five-0 environment so I had no choice but going AU. I call it the _In another life-'verse_, and this is the first installment. I already thought up a second chapter so if you liked this and want more, let me now.

Oh, and I really don't know a lot about the US Armed Forces so lets pretend that what I've written is kinda accurate, okay? Thanks.

**Summary:** Kono and Steve are two talented marines who have a hard time to stay professional after they start working together.

* * *

First Lieutenant Kono Kalakaua is young, driven, frequently sarcastic, and stunningly talented with explosives. She is, also, a woman.

Steve isn't sexist. He's not anything like that. And he knows that Kono is one of the most promising officer on the base, he's seen her enough in the rifle range, or ground fighting in the rain and talked to her a handful of times, so he knows she knows her stuff. If he has to have a new member on his team, and his CO has insisted that he does, Kono is a sound choice. The best choice.

_But_.

But she's also the kind of good looking that Steve's always had a hard time ignoring. He knows that's his problem, not hers, but that doesn't make it just go away. In the field, the last thing either of them need is him getting distracted by the snug fit of her BDUs, or the way she has dimples when she smiles for real.

It's a stupid reason to think about not putting someone on his team, but Steve is just smart enough to know that sometimes the stupid things are the ones that fuck you up the worst. So he thinks about it, turning the idea around in his head and trying to plan for all the ways it could go very, very, wrong, right up to the moment where his CO says, calmly, that if Steve doesn't want Kono on his team, she'll be assigned to someone else's.

That makes up his mind pretty damn quickly, and he ignores the arched eyebrow he gets, walking out of the room with a heavy weight in his stomach.

.

.

They've been through four missions when all of Steve's worries decide to go ahead and come true. The natives had been friendly. In fact, they still are. They're very, very friendly as they cheerfully shove at Steve's shoulders and pull him along, chattering happily amongst themselves the entire time.

Unfortunately, in addition to being friendly, they're completely bat-shit insane. He twists against their hold, and it's amazing how quickly their grip can go from 'pat on the back' to 'Vulcan neck pinch' in seconds like that.

"If you hurt her, I swear to God I will kill you all, I will…" He shouts, yanking at the bonds holding his wrists together against the small of his back.

One of the natives hits Steve hard in the side of the head in the middle of a misplaced gesture towards someone across the crowd. Steve spits out blood, his tongue burning where he bit it, and wonders where the hell the rest of his team is. And then the natives are helpfully lifting Steve under his armpits, dragging him up some stone steps as he kicks out at their legs.

"You're all dead men, every fucking one of you," He spits blood again, promising and they laugh, hitting him in the back of the head and shoving him forward while he's still seeing spots.

Steve's knees hit the hard stone with a heavy thud that sends more pain through his body, and he grunts, feeling the momentum carrying him forward. Hands catch him before he can crash face-first into the stone, pulling him straighter.

"Are you still with us, Major?" A pleasant voice says into his ear and someone hits him across the face just for fun.

Steve shakes his head, blinking away spots, and then grunts, trying to surge up to his feet, throwing his weight forward in an attempt to shrug off the people holding him in place.

They have Kono tied to a goddamn stake, her arms secured above her head, palms out. She's gagged, her boots, BDUs, and Kevlar vest are gone. Her eyes are huge and wild, and she's trying to shout something around the gag that Steve can't make out. There are lines of blood streaking down her arms from where she's twisting against the ropes at her wrists and dark bruises stained into her golden brown skin.

"She will bear you strong sons," Someone says, happy and light hearted, and they're patting him on the shoulders again.

Steve curses all over again that he was stupid enough to stare at her, and that they were crazy enough to catch him and do this about it. He feels like maybe he's not quite inside his own head anymore, angry like there isn't even words for, watching Kono stare at him, her eyes sharp and focused on him. And then she rolls her eyes upward.

Steve blinks, looking up automatically, watching her ball her hands up into fists and then extend all of her fingers in a sharp, violent movement. Steve looks back down at her face, and she nods before turning her face against her arm and squeezing her eyes shut.

Steve shouts again, imagining that he can feel the air shifting already, and adrenaline gives him the strength to make it to his feet, slamming his body into the people trying to hold him back. It's hard to run with his arms restrained, but he manages, boots loud on the stone under his feet, ignoring the surprised shouts of the natives. Steve reaches her, running into her, and she grunts, mumbling something irritated around the gag.

"How long?" Steve gasps out, demanding, and crowding against her, wishing his hands were free, wishing he knew where the fuck Jax and Harrison were, wishing…

The world goes to nothing but noise and light and he doesn't have time to swear, or shout, or anything. Heat washes over his back, and he buries his face against Kono's hair, pieces of sharp, jagged, something tearing into his shoulders and arms.

It's over as quickly as that, leaving Steve deaf and disoriented so he stays leaning against Kono, breathing hard, feeling sticky, wet, warmth sliding down his spine and fingers. Against him, he can feel her shaking, her breath coming loud and ragged through the gag, her breasts pressing against his chest, the skin of her arm soft against his cheek.

Behind them, somewhere far away, the natives are screaming. They don't sound so friendly now, the fuckers. Steve can't help but laugh, the sound catching in his throat, and feels his knees give. Kono makes a loud, frantic, sound when he slides down, knees hitting the ground about a second before his ass hits his feet.

He slumps forward, forehead pressed against one of her thighs, and stays there, breathing against her soft skin, absently turning his face back and forth. He isn't ready to process anything about this day, not right now, so he doesn't, just letting his mind to be blank while he listens to her make increasingly annoyed sounds until Jax and Harrison finally find them.

There's definitely some noise, and hands pulling on him, and Steve tries to shake them off, but they're too strong. He grunts, pain burning up his arms as the pressure holding his wrists finally lessens. People are shouting and Jax's looking calmly down at Steve, his pale blue eyes worried.

"Kono?" Steve says, because he's feeling dizzy and very sleepy, and wants to make sure she's alright before he goes to sleep.

Then there's a familiar voice, and even if Steve can't quite make out the words he knows the tone. He smiles, rolling his head to the side, watching Harrison hurriedly cut Kono's hands free. There's a smear of blood on her thigh, and he frowns at it, trying to figure out where it came from, and then she's kneeling beside him, her mouth moving so fast, her wrists and hands bloody. Steve smiles some more, reaching up and grabbing her shirt, pulling and she makes a surprised sound against his lips when he kisses her.

"Gonna kill 'em all," Steve promises her in all seriousness and falls down into dreams.

.

.

He spends the next few days enjoying the hospitality of the infirmary and the rest of his team hangs around. Even Kono. Steve feels bad when he catches himself staring at her, which is pretty much constantly. He doesn't remember everything about the mission, he still can't quite recall getting hit by the explosion she rigged up in the seconds she had before the natives snatched her, but he remembers kissing her.

They don't talk about it until the day he's released, when she walks him back to his place. She doesn't say a word the entire way, which isn't a surprise and his attention constantly caught by the white bandages around her wrists anyway.

When they reach his doorway he hesitates, looking at her, and for a half-second she looks back and Steve imagines that he sees all kinds of things in her eyes. Then she glances to the side and tilts her chin up.

"I'm not interested in being a notch on anyone's bedpost, Major. Get some rest, and I'd recommend you just forget about what happened out there." She says and walks away without looking back.

Steve feels something go sour in his stomach, thumping a fist against his doorframe.

.

.

The thing is, he tries to forget. He really does. He wants to be able to keep working with her, for reasons that are getting frustratingly complicated. He likes talking to her, working with her, just being around her. No one else could replace her on the team.

So he tries to forget, which results in a stunning failure. It seems unfair that of all the things he only has fuzzy memories of about that mission, the one thing he remembers in startling detail is her mouth against his, soft and dry and not even a very good kiss, especially with the salty taste of blood everywhere.

He gives the whole forgetting it thing a month, and then gives up the hope of it ever working and decides that he needs a better plan. He doesn't have very much to go on, besides he is sure that she fucking kissed him back, and the knowledge that she apparently thinks he's only interested in fucking her.

Steve was raised to believe that there were certain things a man did when he was interested in a woman. Of course, for most of his life he'd completely ignored them. Then again, the one time he'd made some effort he'd ended up with a five year long almost relationship with Catherine, so he figures that's a pretty good track record. Or not, since it had fallen apart the moment they got stationed at the same place at a speed that he found highly impressive.

Still, he figures that if nothing else it's somewhere to start. He's tired of lying to himself about how much he wants Kono, and the knowledge that she kissed him back, which he's holding onto so hard it's a little embarrassing, gives him the final piece of motivation to pursue this.

He's a little rusty, but he figures it won't really be that hard. Probably it's just like riding a bike.

.

.

Obviously, Steve had not been factoring in how Kono had a habit of making every damn thing frustratingly difficult, with or without intention. He thinks that he should be ashamed of himself, because, really, he should have known better.

The single flower that Steve gives her in the middle of a jungle, a huge, almost waxy looking one that has the same color as her beloved ocean, makes her sneeze within seconds. And, adding insult to injury, there's some kind of bee like insect inside the bloom that tries to sting her. The rest of them spend the entire way back to the base getting an impromptu lesson on how to use her EpiPen just in case she got stung out in the field. Steve figures he probably just made a romantic gesture that she had taken as a death threat and wonders how he managed that. He's fairly certain that Jax and Harrison are laughing at him and to make things worse they start to call him Smooth Dog after that just to fuck with him.

Chocolate is almost impossible to find in the middle of the desert, but Steve manages to trade for a few bars. He considers wrapping them, decides that's just overkill, and he is on his way to give them to Kono when they are suddenly under a surprise attack and they spend the next three days crawling around in the sand without getting any sleep. The chocolate ends up not only melted, but melted all over his pants. It takes him forever to get it out.

Steve decides to casually mention the whole incident to Kono, because he thinks the effort only has to earn a gold star or something, right? He goes on believing that right up to the moment he brings it up, eating dinner across from Kono. She goes still in mid-bite, her lips pressed closed around her spoon, and that really shouldn't be as distracting as it is. Finally she swallows, slamming her spoon down and slowly standing.

"I don't know what you think you're doing, but you just stop it right now. Find someone else to play your little games with." She says, leaning over and poking him in the chest.

Steve resists banging his forehead down onto the table after she leaves only by an extreme use of his willpower. He eats the rest of his meal with her spoon, which is not sad, creepy, or pathetic at all, except for how he's sure that it is.

So, obviously, Steve had seriously underestimated the stubborn defenses he would be facing when he embarked on this campaign. He needs to re-evaluate his strategies and fall back to a position he has a chance of holding while he decides on his next offensive deployments.

He is aware that maybe thinking about this in terms of a military attack is slightly odd, but honestly it only makes sense when it comes to dealing with Kono. She's got him outgunned and her defenses are kicking his ass all over the place. But he's stubborn; especially about things he wants as much as he wants her.

He settles in for a long siege, and starts concentrating on entrenching his position, just in case.

.

.

Steve settles back into just friendship with Kono. She still looks at him suspiciously sometimes, but he's biding his time. He figures that maybe she needs to be acclimated to him a little more first. He's kind of vaguely hopeful that the more time he spends around her, the more likely she is to suddenly decide that he's awesome.

He is aware that he is possibly suffering from delusions at this point, but the hand-to-hand combat practices are fun, even if she does kick his ass ninety percent of the time because he's distracted by the urge to tear her clothes off and he definitely likes watching her playing with explosives. And, okay, going to the shooting range with her might be a little bit like torture, but at least she only narrows her eyes at him the first few times he adjusts her stance or her grip on the rifle.

He's pretty sure that this is not so much moving slow as it is moving backwards, but apparently it's the best he's going to be able to manage right now, so Steve just grins and bears it. He can do this. It's not like being friendly with her is any hardship, no matter how much he wants more.

He can be patient, when he needs to be.

.

.

Steve is protective of his friends. He always has been, and that's, of course, why he reacts the way he does when they walks in on some of the guys in the lockers, discussing _his _First Lieutenant and for a moment all he can do is listen, frozen in place.

"Shit, yeah she's a bitch. I don't know why the fuck McGarrett puts up with that bullshit." One of them snorts and says, obviously responding to some conversation that he's missed.

"What, are you fucking blind, too? She might be a heartless motherfucker, but you can't tell me you wouldn't fuck her raw if you could, I mean…" The second man says, and Steve grits his teeth together, balling his hands up into fists, not even risking a look at Kono where she's standing right behind his shoulder.

Eventually, he starts to take a step forward, clearing his throat loudly. The young marines in the room go still, before one very slowly turns to look at Steve. The man's eyes are wide, the color draining out of his face, Steve smiles, not nicely, opening his mouth because he's going to tear these little fuckers a new one, anger pounding red hot up through his veins, but Kono beats him to it.

She steps around Steve smoothly, her shoulders tight and tense with anger. Her voice comes out edged with razors, but softly at the same time so the guys have to lean forward a little to hear her.

"Listen to me, you little bitches, because I'm only going to say this once. If I ever - _ever - _hear you talking like that about me or any women, I will personally put together a nasty little surprise for your cars and the next time you use them your balls aren't going to end up in the same place as the rest of you." The men in the room wince, and then freeze again when she points at one of them, snapping her fingers, her voice icy cold "Except you. You already lack them. Now, get the fuck out of my sight before I change my mind and do it now."

The marines flee, scrambling past the rest of them in the door, looking pale and drawn. Not one of them even looks like they think she couldn't do it. Steve doesn't want to think about whether she could or not. Not with her bracing her hands on her hips and tilting her head down, breathing hard.

"Kono, look, I'm going to…" Steve grimaces but she cuts him off quickly.

"Get out," her voice is flat and tight, and Steve flinches.

He opens his mouth again because she should know that he's not just going to let them get off without any retribution at all, but she shouts, "Get out!" so he goes. He stands outside the door, but she doesn't make any noise so eventually he leaves, because he has some disciplinary matters to take care of.

Steve sends every one of the fuckers that had been in that room to the infirmary, and makes damn sure they understand why.

Somehow, Steve really hadn't expected Kono to show up at his room in the middle of the night. She pounds on his door until he manages to stumble across the room and open it. He's half-asleep, the dreams of her caught up in the forefront of his mind, blinking at her and suffering momentary confusion.

Luckily, she doesn't seem to be expecting him to think right now. She shoves him hard in the middle of his chest, driving him back into his room and pulling his door shut. Steve blinks; lost but cautiously hopeful that he missed something and this situation might be looking up.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She shoves him again, her voice tight and angry. "I handled it! What, your stupid testosterone filled brain wasn't satisfied? You had to go show them who the boss is, even after I took care of it? I don't want or need your Prince Charming complex, or whatever the hell this is, McGarrett. In case you haven't noticed, I've managed to take care of myself for a while now without needing some big strong man to make sure I'm okay, so next time why don't you just keep your fists to yourself and stay out of my business."

She's almost shaking with anger, her eyes flashing, and he feels all the remains of his sleepiness melting away. He sighs, gritting his teeth and trying to keep his voice calm when he speaks up.

"Look, Kono, those things they were saying, that kind of shit is…"

"The same thing I've been hearing since I won my first surfing competition, you fucking idiot. Since I was _fourteen_. So just take your archaic little 'protecting the woman' attitude, stow it with your club and your loincloth, and go to hell. I don't need it." She still looks furious, mouth twisted into a frown, cheeks flushed, but Steve is too hung up on her being fourteen and having to hear shit like that to really keep up. After a moment she sighs, crossing her arms and tilting her chin up.

"Are you even listening to me?" She suddenly sounds tired.

"Fourteen?" Steve manages, feeling sick and pissed off all over again.

Kono stares at him, and then shakes her head, throwing one hand up in annoyance.

"I don't want your pity. I don't want your protection. I don't want your _anything_, are we clear?" She turns sharply then pushing his door open and steps out before he can answer, which is just as well, because he isn't clear at all.

He sits on the side of his bed, staring at his hands, for a long a time. Eventually the sun rises.

.

.

Even if Steve had wanted to just forget that he ever heard that filth, he couldn't. It's his job to protect Kono, and more than that, he wants to protect her. He needs to. He gets that she doesn't understand it, that it pisses her off, but he can't just wave it away. He doesn't want to.

Still, he tries to cover it up when she's around, because he doesn't like it when she's pissed off at him. That doesn't stop all her angry accusations that he, Jax, and Harrison treat her differently now. And Steve would argue with her more, but it's true enough.

Steve doesn't know if he believes that it's all about testosterone and their dicks leading them around. After all, as far as he can tell, Jax and Harrison are far more interested in each other than Kono. It's just that she's a part of their team, and so should be protected, whether she likes it or not.

Word gets around that she's not to be fucked with. It doesn't take long on a closed community like theirs. Just to make sure the point is clear, Steve sticks close to her for a few weeks, glaring pointedly whenever anyone comes close. And, just in case there are any residual doubts, Steve gets Jax to beat up a few more people. That should, he thinks, pretty much take care of it.

.

.

Of course, that just takes care of it on the base but the missions are a disturbingly different story.

Once, the natives are all positively enchanted by Kono's soft looking skin and whorling dark eyes, and constantly touch her. Steve grits his teeth and tries to bear it. By the time they've been escorted around the village his resolve has crumbled, and he has a hand on Kono's back. She's glaring at him and he just smiles tightly down at her, because he can't help it.

Another time she's working closely with the village's 'mechanic' in an effort to fix their broken generator and Steve walks in on them to find the guy leaning over her, his hands on either side of Kono's hips as she works frantically on something, not even paying attention to the way the guy is staring at her, hungry and dirty. Steve has the guy up against the wall in seconds, snarling.

"What the hell is wrong with you now?" Kono shouts at him, pissed off and loud.

"Just fix the damn thing. We're leaving as soon as you're done," Steve snaps back, glaring down into the other guy's face.

The guy looks surprised, afraid, and Steve's knuckles itch with the urge to hit him. After a moment Kono calls Steve an idiot again before going back to work, still swearing at him, and Steve casually tightens his grip on the other guy's throat, just enough to make his face turn red.

When Kono finishes the sky outside is orange, the generator is working, and she doesn't say a word all the way back to their camp, her arms crossed tight, radiating hostility. Jax looks at Steve, eyebrows raised in question, and Steve just shakes his head, shoving his hand deeper into his pocket, knuckles stinging from the parting blow he'd left the other guy with.

Kono doesn't speak to him for a week. He'd do it again anyway.

.

.

One day, after her silent treatment is thankfully over, Steve finds Kono staring at him, head tilted to the side, and he clears his throat, shifting around.

"I don't understand you." She says, still staring hard.

"Yeah, well," He shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck, because sometimes he doesn't understand him either. And just when he thinks he's starting to understand _her_ she goes and does something that he doesn't get at all.

"There has to be someone else out there that would be an easier lay. Is it about the challenge? If I agree to sleep with you will you stop acting like this?" She says, holding his gaze.

For a long moment Steve can only stare at her. Then he shakes his head again, dragging a hand back through his hair and wondering why she chose the mess hall of all places to have this conversation. Still. Beggars can't be choosers.

"No." He shoves his tray to the side, braces his elbows on the table.

For a moment Kono just keeps staring. And then she hums, turning back to her meal. A half second later she's talking about some new experimental explosives she's dying to try and that's the end of it. Steve swallows heavily, pulling his tray back over and picking at his food.

.

.

The next time they are at the gym, Kono lets Steve win. He glares at her, mouth open, trying to decide if he should call her on it or not. She's watching him, eyes sharp, curious, and Steve finally reaches out a hand to help her up instead. She blinks, staring up the ceiling before slowly shifting her gaze to him. He stares back, refusing to look away even though his heart is pounding painfully against his ribs. She hums, head tilted to the side, like she's trying to figure out some kind of puzzle.

"Again," She commands, taking his hand and smiling just a little bit at him, dimpled and unsure.

Steve nods. This time she fights normally, watching him out of the corner of her eye when she kicks his leg out and he crashes into the mat loudly. Steve grins, and she looks surprised, but pleasantly.

When they grab their things, ready to leave, she hesitates for a moment and Steve has no idea what exactly was going on with the fight, but she doesn't seem furious with him, so he's taking it as a good sign.

He has no idea what she's doing, though he has a feeling it's some kind of test. He wishes he knew if he were passing or not. Or, hell, what he was even being judged on. Apparently she's not going to tell him.

They stay in this oddly careful place for weeks. Steve still isn't sure exactly what's going on. Kono still snaps, and gets irritated, but then she looks at him afterwards, like she's judging his response. Steve has no idea what the right response here is, so he just sticks to what he's always done. Jax at one point pokes him in the ribs, which either means that Steve is doing alright, or that the other man has given up on trying to help.

.

.

Then they are on a leave and Harrison invites them to his hometown, for some kind of mid-summer festival. Steve attempts to get out of it, but apparently Jax and Kono already said yes so he has to go. There are hayrides, which make Kono sneeze, and face painting, which almost results in a rainbow being painted on Steve's forehead but he negotiates himself out of it. There's a hell of a lot of food.

And there's dancing.

At first it appears to be mostly line dancing, and his team end up on the sidelines, laughing as everyone else in the town stomps around to the music. Unfortunately, it's not to last, and couples start breaking off, dancing slow in the circles of each other's arms.

Steve starts tapping his fingers on his leg, cutting a look over at Kono every few seconds, wondering if he dares. He's just opening his mouth, because it might not be a good idea, but that's never stopped Steve before, when someone else is stepping out of the crowd, grabbing Kono's arm and pulling her to her feet, sweeping her off to the dance floor.

Steve jerks to his feet, scowling, pushing his way through the dancers.

"No, you idiot, I don't want to dance with you." Kono's voice manages to rise above the music, irritated and pissed off.

The man that grabbed her either doesn't answer, or just isn't loud enough to be heard over the swell of something that sounds a lot like a fiddle. And then they're right in front of Steve so he shakes the frown off of his face, grabbing the man's shoulder and smiling toothily.

"I'm cutting in," He announces and proceeds to do so.

The man makes a faint, protesting sound, but Steve already has an arm around Kono's waist, moving her into the crowd with the intention of finding Jax and Harrison when she wraps her arm up around his neck.

Steve freezes, blinking down at her. She looks determined, her mouth set and her eyes tense. He automatically pulls her a little closer, and she slides her other arm up around his neck as well, her fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck. Steve shivers, both arms going around her waist and he finds that they're swaying a little back and forth, though he really hadn't been aware of that happening. She's still staring at him, head tilted to the side, a piece of golden hay stuck in her hair.

"I don't understand what you want from me, McGarrett," She says after a moment and Steve thinks that maybe this is them discussing terms of surrender. He's not even sure who's surrendering. He's not sure that it matters.

"Calling me Steve would be a nice start." He shrugs, rubbing his thumb over the soft material of her shirt.

She blinks, looking surprised, and then she smiles at him, really smiles at him, laughing loud and genuine. Steve smiles back, watching her dimples and the way her eyes crinkling up in the corners.

"Steve." She says after a moment like she's testing it out, and then repeats it softer before shifting a little closer to him, sliding her fingers into his hair and pulling him down.

Steve stops breathing, stops thinking, stops everything.

She kisses him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognize…

**A/N:** Wow…um, well I'm actually pretty speechless at the moment because I never thought I'd get this much positive response. Thank you for all of your amazing reviews and I hope you are gonna like this one too.

I like to warn you that this chapter is **M** rated because there's some smut in it and of course I couldn't stop myself from turning it a bit angsty as well.

This chapter nearly killed me, I think I managed to break my own fucking heart while writing it so please be gentle with me, okay?

Anyway, enjoy and tell me what you think!

* * *

Steve has no idea what the General is talking about, all he knows it's some kind of speech and he's fairly certain that he's going to be required to nod and smile and raise his glass at some point later on in the evening.

It's important, he's sure.

He also really doesn't give a damn about it.

Kono is sitting across from him, on the other side of the table, and Steve knows he should stop staring but he's honestly having a hard enough time trying to keep from drooling. Anything else would require more self control than he currently has to spare.

Kono sits ramrod straight, polite half smile on her face with her shoulders bare and her bodice laced up tight, she's all golden brown, smooth skin and so much cleavage that it should be illegal.

Steve can still remember what she'd looked like when she walked in, her skirt slit all the way up to her hips, miles and miles of curves in all the right places and he just wanted to…

"Sir, raise your glass, sir!" Jax kicks him under the table, hissing out of the corner of his mouth.

He's just raising his glass to toast when she finally looks away from the conversation she'd been having and he knows he's busted, he knows he should look away and pretend that he wasn't just leering at her. Instead he smiles sheepishly, feels himself blush, and forgets to drink until Jax kicks him in the leg again.

He needs to get that kid some softer shoes.

They're assigned to some really fancy rooms, because they're guests of honor or whatever and Steve's just poking at the fire, when there's a knock at his door. He figures it's either Jax (the kid has some troubles with sleeping since their last mission) or someone just ending up in the wrong room by accident.

It's Kono.

She's still wearing The Dress, which Steve can't help but giving capital letters. It deserves it. The light blue fabric looks soft and touchable, though not really half as touchable as she does, and Steve picks his jaw up off the floor and manages a smile that he hopes looks friendly and not predatory.

"So how's your room?" He asks, stepping back to allow her in.

Kono shrugs, walking over to his fireplace and kneeling in front of it. Steve stares at the curve of her thigh and feels uncomfortably warm under the collar.

"Well, the feng shui is way off, but there's a separate room for the toilet and there's even running water and the lock even works this time though I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one with a key." She says conversationally.

"Yeah," He manages, which he is sure is neither as cool nor suave as he desperately wants to be. And then he realizes that she's actually starting a fire, and takes a half step closer, "Does your fireplace not work?"

Kono makes an impatient sound, rubbing her hands together when she straightens. The firelight makes her skin glow and Steve grabs his hands behind his back and holds on.

"I've heard fire makes it nicer." Kono stares at him for a long moment, her chin up and her eyes sharp, and then she shifts, looking a little awkward and unsure for the first time since he met her.

For a moment Steve just stares at her, her big brown eyes and soft looking hair and the way she's picking at the fabric of her dress by her hip and then she winces, and ducks her head.

"Oh...Oh!" Steve finally realizes what's going on and he has to catch her arm when she starts for the door.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have - I just thought." She mumbles, staring at the floor. "Well, it doesn't matter what I thought. I hope you have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow and…"

Her skin is so soft when he slides his hand across her cheek, turning her face towards his. She cuts off mid-sentence, blinking up at him, her eyes huge and Steve's still feeling kind of blown out of the water by the whole thing and he shifts a little closer to her, watching her expression for any flashes of panic.

"Oh." He says again stupidly and she makes an impatient noise, grabbing two handfuls of his hair and dragging his mouth down to hers.

Kissing Kono is kissing Kono.

There's nothing else in the world to compare it to, and Steve doesn't even try, he just groans, fingers sliding back into her long, silky hair, cupping the back of her head as his other hand curves around her waist, pulling her against him.

She fits perfectly, and she makes a little sound against his lips when they press together. He can feel all her curves, the swell of her breasts against his chest, the soft lines of her waist leading into her hips and ass right below his hand.

"God, tell me that you're not drunk, or drugged, or being mind controlled." Steve drags his mouth away from hers, staring down at her.

Kono laughs at him, pulling him back down, her mouth sweet and demanding, opening his and taking what she wants. Steve groans and gives and thanks whoever thought to put this big soft rug in front of the fire because there's no way they're getting all the way across the room to the bed.

He strokes his hand up and down the line of her spine, losing his mind a little each time he reaches her shoulders where the fabric ends and her soft, soft skin begins under the pads of his fingers.

"There's a zipper back there. The laces are just for show." She pulls away from him, dragging her teeth across his bottom lip.

Steve growls, pressing his face against the curve of her neck, his hips jerking just a little helplessly. She laughs at him again, but the sound is all fondness, and her hands are pulling his shirt out of his pants, sliding up his back and pulling him closer.

"Come on already, this thing is insanely uncomfortable and it's been cutting off my breathing for the past four hours." She demands and Steve kisses the soft skin behind her ear, reveling in the little breathy moan that draws from her throat as his fingers find the zipper.

The dress slides down her body, and gets hung up on the swell of her hips so he decides to be helpful and push it the rest of the way off, and then he has to make himself take a step back, just to look at her.

The only thing she's wearing under the dress is some tiny white underwear. Steve drags his gaze up and down her body, her mile long legs, the curve of her thighs, the flat stomach, the dip of her belly button, the breasts that she's crossing her arms over.

"Hey, no," Steve says, stepping forward, running his hands down her arms to her wrists, squeezing gently. She's staring at some point around his shoulder, her cheeks stained red, and Steve nuzzles against her hair, rubbing his thumbs in little circles over her wrists, "You're way too beautiful to try to cover up."

"Oh, fuck you, I am no…" She snorts and rolls her eyes, voice sharp, and he kisses her again, sliding a palm down her back and cupping one of her breasts in the other.

She gasps against his mouth after a long moment, one arm curling around his neck, and he can feel it when her knees go weak, the way she sways into him. She gasps, tilting her head back when he mouths at her neck, his thumb sliding across her erect nipple.

"You are," He says, eyes serious and she just nods, mouth red and kiss stung, eyes bright and shining, "So perfect, I can't even believe you want…"

"Well, I do." She cuts him off, voice firm and knowing and then she shifts a little, blinking and biting at her bottom lip, "But could you, um, maybe take off some of your clothes? I'd like to see you naked now."

Steve grins, ducking his head and stepping just far enough away from her to pull his shirt off. He rubs at the back of his neck, suffering a brief flash of panic that maybe he won't be what she expected, but then she's hooking her fingers into his waistband and pulling him closer, making an appreciative humming sound and running one hand up over his stomach and chest.

"Hi," She grins up at him and he can feel her clever fingers working open his pants, pushing them off his hips. Steve smiles back then gasps when she cups him through his underwear, fingers stroking up and down. "So, happy to see me?"

"Very happy. More than happy. Thrilled," Steve's voice is thick and he smiles dopily when she laughs sweetly again and he reaches down to get rid of his underwear because he wants to be naked with her so very, very badly.

She hums, her smile wicked when she steps back, stepping out of her own underwear and then crooking her finger at him. Steve is to her in a second, hands on her waist as he bends over, enough to lower his mouth to her breasts. The angle makes his back ache but it's so, so worth it for the way she grips at his hair, letting out a helpless little sound.

When she sinks down, Steve follows her, kissing and sucking at her skin as she leans back against the thick rug, blanketing her with his body. Her hips are rocking, just tiny little circles against nothing and Steve slides his hand down her stomach, breath catching when she spreads her thighs for him, tilting up into his touch.

Steve groans, squeezing his eyes shut, sliding one of his legs between her thighs and stroking across her cheek with his free hand.

"Kiss me," Kono pleads and he shifts up, finding her mouth with his while she clings to his shoulders, and he strokes light and slow across her clit, listening to the way her breath hitches and feeling the way her body trembles until he feels sure enough to speed up, little circles that have her making tiny little sounds in the back of her throat and when her body bows up it's the most beautiful thing Steve's ever seen.

She's breathing hard, panting against his mouth, and he kisses her and kisses her and kisses her, until she shoves at his shoulders, pushing him onto his back. When she moves over him, straddling him, her hands on his chests, Steve groans and tries real hard not to come just from the sight of it.

"I'm on the pill and I'm clean, you're clean, right?" She asks, her voice breathy.

"I am, I totally am," Steve nods, his hands curving around her hips, and she smiles at him, wild and joyful.

And then she's sinking down onto him, her fingers curling up on his chest, her head thrown back, a keening noise ripped from her throat.

"Oh, yeah," Steve grunts, gripping at her hips, and realizes he's just made it to the promised land. She's wet and hot and tight around him, her eyes heavy lidded and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Oh, fuck, you're…" he tries again but there aren't even words for what she is, because nothing that came before her has ever even come close to comparing.

She curls over him, her hips circling and moving and he shifts to meet each movement, their body's moving in tandem. She's panting, and he slides a hand across her stomach, wanting to see her come again, to feel it from inside her this time, gritting his teeth and holding off orgasm with everything he can.

"Come for me, please, please," He begs and she gasps out a broken breath, going down to one elbow, her body clenching tight around him and Steve jerks up off the rug, pulling her down into a kiss, falling down over that edge.

He was half-way in love with her before but now, he totally is.

.

.

It's been a week.

The stopwatch in Steve's head, the one he can't ignore or push away, says one hundred and eighty-three hours, forty-six minutes, fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three seconds...

The last time Steve saw Kono, the last time he got to hear her was the day he lost her. The mission had been ridiculously easy for once, and they'd been walking back to the chopper, Jax and Harrion scouting ahead, Kono complaining about the field of flowers they were having the trek through.

Steve had been smiling, face tilted up to the warm sunshine, wondering if she'd take poorly to him attempting to hold her hand. Overhead, a bird was circling, so high it was nothing but a tiny speck against the brilliant blue of the sky.

Kono had paused to take a breath, coughing a little from the pollen, and Steve had blinked, remembering the conversation that had been cut off earlier that morning.

"What did you want to know about my family?" He'd shifted his grip on his rifle, managing to ask before she started again.

"Anything. You never talk about them at all. Do you - how do you feel about them?" For a moment Kono had looked deeply uncomfortable, fidgeting with her hands and then she'd lifted her chin, staring at him hard.

Steve blinked, not truly surprised that he had no idea where she was going with this.

"We don't have much to do with each other." He'd shrugged after a moment and she made a face and Steve had taken his sunglasses off, reaching out to touch her arm and then stopping. "Hey, I kind of thought, you know, me and you. That's family too."

Kono blinked at him, and then she'd bit at her lower lip, looking like she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or not. She'd reached out, fingers curling around his wrist, eyes locked on his when she'd said,

"Look, I don't want you to think I was trying to keep it from you. I just realized…and I know I should have earlier, but, look, my stomach is always giving me problems, and in my first year of the Academy I was so stressed and not eating properly and I actually missed five…"

Steve had smiled softly when she had to pause to suck in a breath. She'd opened her mouth, tugging on his wrist again, raising her other hand and straightening his fingers.

That had been when the hum on the edge of Steve's hearing had roared furiously loud, the sound splitting the sky. There'd been a wash of heat along his back, and he'd reached for Kono, the ground jumping beneath their feet. He'd lost his balance between one jerk and the next, the detonation making him going down hard, head cracking against a stone.

Steve had woken up in a hospital bed and Kono had been gone.

They didn't let him keep her dog tags.

.

.

Steve thinks he might be going insane, nightmares twisting through his mind before he even falls asleep.

Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…

He can't control what he dreams, as much as he wishes he could. The achingly sweet dreams intersperse themselves with the nightmares, forming tangled, convoluted webs that make him never want to sleep again. That's not an option. His body is running down, driven too hard for too long, starting to collapse under the constant strain as much as he tries to resist. Tonight they're good dreams, memories that his unconscious mind serves up like gift, wrapped torture.

The first time they'd attempted sex, they'd been in his room. Him sitting on the mattress, Kono leaning over him, her thumbs stroking across his cheeks, her breath hitching against his mouth. She'd been stiff, both of them still dressed.

"Hey, hey, let's – I got that movie you wanted, let's…" Steve had said, lips brushing hers.

But he should have known that there was no arguing with Kono once she made up her mind, regardless of whether she was right or not. She'd kissed him again, harder, crawling into his lap, rubbing her body up against his. He'd tried again anyway, because while he couldn't out-stubborn her, he could come close.

"Kono, we don't have…" She'd cut him off, pulling the back of his shirt up, her fingers warm against his skin.

"Unless it's babbled compliments, you can just keep your internal monologue to yourself." She'd nipped at his bottom lip, pulling back to tug his shirt over his head, tossing it across the room and running her hands up his chest.

Her mouth on his skin had been so very, very, good, quick and clever as everything about her, wicked. Steve had sucked in a deep breath, running his fingers back through her hair, touching her every place he could. And she'd been so tense it had to be painful.

Grabbing her shoulders and pushing her back those crucial few inches had been one of the hardest things Steve ever forced himself to do. And she'd only glared at him for his trouble, skin hot already, her mouth wet and red.

"We're not doing this right now," Steve had said, and she had snarled at him, jerking out of his hold and to her feet, crossing her arms, glaring belligerently.

For a long moment she hadn't said anything and then she'd twisted on her heel, grabbing her boots, snapping over her shoulder at him.

"So, what? Is this the punch line then? I was wondering where it was. Hilarious, really. I'm impressed that you managed to keep it…"

By the time Steve managed to grab her again she'd been almost at the door, radiating fury. Steve had kissed her, her lips hard and unyielding under his until he pulled back and kissed her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her forehead.

"I'm not laughing, sweetheart." He'd rasped into her ear as he'd reached for her wrist, pressing her hand against the swell of his erection.

She'd been breathing hard against his shoulder, every muscle in her body knotted up tight. Her voice came out pissed off, sharp and irritated to cover the confusion beneath.

"I don't – do you want to fuck me or not?"

Steve had grimaced; glad she couldn't see his expression right now. Everything was always logical to Kono, Steve had hated, truly and deeply, whoever had given her the basis for all the assumptions she had about relationships. He'd sighed, nuzzling against her hair again, words tangling awkwardly in his throat.

"Not like…I want you to want this. If you don't..." Steve swallowed, releasing his hold on her wrist, "Then that's okay. But we're not going to do this for any other reason."

And Kono had shoved him away, her expression so flatly blank that Steve knew it had to be covering something, though he had no fucking idea what.

"You can go to hell," She snapped and stormed out of his place, her shoulders squared up, her arms crossed tightly over her chest again. Steve had sat down on his couch, rubbed a hand up over his mouth and cursed even though it didn't do anything to make the pressure in his chest lessen.

She'd avoided him for a week, before showing up at his room in the middle of the night, grabbing him and kissing him hard. There'd been whiskey on her breath and Steve had shushed her when she babbled, too fast and jumbled.

"I'm relaxed now, I am, I am..." And it hadn't taken much to get her to curl up beside him on the couch, her breathing going slow and deep while he stroked her hair. Steve had thought she was asleep when she mumbled, "I want to. I just don't know how you…" She'd made a frustrated sound, twisting to blink up at him, tone going to accusing, "You want things to be weird."

"I want things to be right." Steve sighed.

Kono had only glared half-heartedly for another long moment, before blinking and looking lost. The expression had been fleeting. Then she'd curled onto her side again, closing her eyes hard and eventually falling asleep.

Steve had watched until dawn broke.

Now Steve wakes up, the room still and dark around him, the bed empty. He sits up, twisting, getting his feet flat on the floor so he can stick his head between his knees, just breathing until the urge to throw up or scream or break things passes.

.

.

He dreams about Kono now almost every time he sleeps.

The dreams are sweet, more memories than anything else, and they make it so much worse when he wakes up to find her gone every damn morning. The bed, which had always seemed far too small, now feels expansive. He gets lost in it, constantly cold without her there to warm him.

Steve had thought that he wasn't really going to be sleeping alone again. It hurts more that Kono was the perfect fit for a sleeping partner. Even aside from the sex, just curling up against her to sleep had been comforting, had been everything he wanted. They fit together so easily, her complaints of a sore neck and his arm constantly falling asleep aside.

It had taken him forever just to get her to sleep the entire night with him in the first place. The first time they'd had sex there - it had been their second time doing it - she'd been so jumpy afterwards, startling when he'd slid an arm around her waist and tried to nuzzle against the back of her neck.

Sex had always slowed Steve's brain down, and he'd had no time to form a protest when she squirmed away from him, out from beneath the sheets, and back into her pants. By the time Steve had managed to push up, she'd been tugging on her shirt, grabbing her jacket and shoving her feet into her boots.

"Wait, Kono…" He said but she'd already been gone, out the door and Steve had spent the rest of the night sure that he'd just fucked things up royally, with no clue as to what he'd done, coming up with as many options as he could to get back in her good graces, to get another shot, anything.

In the morning, she'd acted like nothing horrible had happened, which had only confused him more. They'd had sex again, and Steve had been so goddamn relieved, so happy, so everything, that it had taken him a moment afterward to realize she was leaving again.

Two weeks later, two weeks of her sliding out of bed every single time, and Steve had managed to get them in _her_ bed, her fingers clenching against his back, one of her heels digging into the back of his thigh, moving together desperately. And afterwards, she'd gone into the bathroom, came back out, said she had to go down to the gym, and left him there, lying naked in her bed.

Steve had considered, briefly, tying her down, and then dismissed the idea, more than a little disgusted with himself. Kono did trust him, something that he'd earned slowly and carefully. He'd decided to trust her back, even if that meant sleeping alone when he really wanted to wrap around her and wake up with his face buried in her hair.

He'd ended up eavesdropping on a conversation between Kono and Jax as they worked on her bike. It had been accidental, he'd only been trying to bring Kono lunch, but he hadn't walked away when he could have. Not when Kono had snapped, muffled and irritated.

"I don't need to be pandered to. Or coddled."

"You believe he is trying to coddle you?" Jax's voice was clearer, and completely bemused.

Kono had snorted, and Steve had been able to clearly imagine her expression, scorn with a side of impatience that everyone else wasn't seeing things exactly and immediately as she did.

"Of course he is." And then, softer, a half second later, "I mean, why else would he be...you know."

"Maybe he just wants to. You could ask him?" Jax had laughed, just a little, but his voice had been more sad than happy.

Kono's scornful noise of derision for the idea had followed Steve when he hurried away, wondering if they were ever not going to miss each other by a mile on these things.

That night, though, she hadn't gone anywhere. For a long time she hadn't moved at all, stretched out over him, her face buried against his neck, and Steve had been content to run a hand up and down her back, tracing the little twitches still moving through her muscles, still inside her, soft now.

Then she'd shifted, her hand landing near the edge of the bed before she froze, fingers twisting up in the sheets. She'd stared down hard at the bed, leg still thrown across his hips.

"Steve..." She said making a face on the end before her expression started to close down.

"Stay." Steve had blurted, before he could even think, and she'd stared at him for a long, long, time.

And then she'd shifted slowly back, moving ever so carefully as she settled against him, one hand cautiously splayed on his chest. Steve had hummed, keeping his own touches light, and she hadn't slept at all that night. But the next night she did, relaxing against him just a little bit. Steve had woken up with his face buried in her hair, her soft snores brushing across his chest, and grinned stupidly up at the ceiling until she woke up.

It's been fifteen hundred and twenty-four hours, thirty-seven minutes, and forty-two seconds since the last time Steve woke up beside Kono. She'd been up before him, petting his hair and staring softly down at him when he woke, and he'd said, "Hey," rubbing his palm up her spine.

She'd smiled at him, just a little awkwardly, and blurted,

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?" right before Harrison called to tell them that they had five minutes to get ready for their mission.

Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven seconds...

Steve wants to scream.

.

.

Nothing in his – _their_ – place smells like Kono anymore. Steve realizes it one morning while he's drying off, water sliding down his flanks when the towel slips out of his grasp. He doesn't really remember much of the next half an hour, just that it ends with him sitting in the middle of the floor, clutching one of her shirts with his nose buried in the fabric.

It doesn't smell like her. Not even a little bit. It's just cotton.

Steve breathes through the empty ache in his chest. He tries to make himself care about the huge mess he just made, about the fact that he's naked, though not really very wet anymore. It's hard, but he manages, pushing to his feet, neatly refolding everything, putting it all back where it goes.

He knows it's his own fault. If he hadn't been poking at her things all the time, if he hadn't slept better with one of her shirts wrapped around the pillow, then this wouldn't have happened.

Steve refuses.

He can't.

There are too many things he has yet to do with Kono. Too many things he never got to tell her. Too many years that he'd promised himself he was going to live out with her. There's a ring at the bottom of his unused duffle bag that he never got the chance to give her, too afraid that she'd say no and pull away from him, the way she still did sometimes when he pushed too fast or too hard.

The first time he told her he loved her, because it was true, and because he wanted to, and because he'd thought that she wanted – or maybe needed – to hear it, she'd completely shut him out for a week. Steve had spent the entire time trying to figure out how exactly that went wrong, and how to fix it.

He hadn't tried to make it a grand romantic gesture of the confession, because those made Kono uncomfortable. They'd just been drowsing, both of them exhausted, though he had still been able to hear her thinking. And he'd said it, not really expecting a response, because Kono always needed a bit of time to process anything even remotely connected to their relationship.

Her going stiff and fleeing the room had not been the response Steve had been counting on. The subsequent avoidance had been an even bigger surprise. Steve had been sure, then, that he'd finally fucked up what they had, though he had no idea how he'd managed it. For a week she had just been no where he was, and then she'd been back, sitting on the side of the bed when he dragged himself back to his place one night.

"I'm not so good with love," She'd told him and Steve hadn't grinned or laughed, even though he'd been giddily relieved that she was back.

"Yeah?" He had just said and sat down beside her, and squeezed his eyes shut when she leaned her head against his shoulder.

But Kono was always one surprise after another, and she'd tilted her chin up, whispered into the stillness of the room.

"Say it again," and when Steve did, she'd shifted around, pulling him into a kiss. And that had been it, long, deep kisses until Steve thought he might lose his mind and she slipped a hand into his pants to wrap her fingers around him.

She'd been so stiff when he tried to touch her back, like she didn't know what to expect suddenly, just like the first several times they'd been together. And Steve would have thought it was a lack of trust, except that he was smart enough to realize it was just about the opposite, that even letting him try was so hard for her for reasons he wasn't sure he'd ever understand. He didn't need to understand the reasons to understand the effects.

Steve had kissed her, slow and careful and long, until she'd relaxed, sighing against his mouth, grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand down. She had come apart for him, and only then had they struggled out of their clothes, limbs heavy and thick, sleep calling them down.

"You too, you know?" She'd whispered against his chest, when she thought he was asleep.

And he had, because it was impossible not to, after all she gave him.

That had been months ago.

Steve won't let her go.

He can't because he's only had a year with her, really, since they worked their way around their initial problems and misunderstandings. A year of falling asleep beside her, her body tangled with his, her breath warm on his chest and her hair soft against his mouth when he bent to kiss it. A year of waking up with her, of the occasional late mornings they'd managed to steal, where they were all that existed in the world. A year of smiles just for him, dimpled and sure, of mistakes, of successes, of reveling in the family, the home, that she'd given him.

.

.

Eventually Steve handed in his resignation – after he nearly got Jax, Harrison and the new guy killed because his mind was elsewhere – empty eyed and looking like a broken man, before completely dropping off the grid.

He doesn't know how much time had passed since he left the base - days, weeks, maybe months even - but someone is banging impatiently on his door now and when he opens it his arms are suddenly filled with Kono.

"Do you have any idea how hard you were to find? It was ridiculous," She huffs, annoyed a strange contrast to the tears sliding down her cheeks at the same time. "Oh my God, this is where you've been living? It's a mess! Are you actually eating food or just drinking whiskey all day long?"

"Kono," is all Steve manages, pushing her up against the wall, catching her fluttering hands and kissing her slow and deep.

Kono tastes like ozone, salt and coffee, hesitates for just a second before kissing Steve back, before letting Steve lick into her mouth, her fingers curling around Steve's biceps and pulling closer.

Not that there's anywhere closer for Steve to get. He groans, body pressed tight up against Kono.

Kono, who is solid and alive and right here and for just a half second Steve thinks, again, that this might be some cruel dream, promising him what he can't have while he's awake, but then Kono is tilting her head back, her breath is hitching as she tries to form coherent words.

"Steve, Steve, I couldn't find you anywhere, I…"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," He says and nips at the bared line of Kono's throat, feeling the beat of Kono's pulse against his lips, the warmth of Kono's skin, the scent of her filling up Steve's lungs.

"Don't you ever die on me again, Kono, I mean it." He's aware that he's pretty much begging but he doesn't give a damn.

Kono laughs, mumbling something breathless up to the ceiling, and then she's pulling Steve up with a handful of Steve's too-long hair and they're kissing again and Steve just melts into it. Wrestling Kono's shirt off is too much work, so Steve just pulls on it until it rips and jerks the tattered remains off of her shoulders, warm and strong and whole.

Kono nips at Steve's bottom lip, frowning down at what's left of her shirt.

"Nice, I only have two shirts, you know. Well. One shirt now and…"

"I'll buy you more. I'll buy you everything. Anything you want. I'm gonna marry the fuck out of you." Steve isn't really sure what he's saying, promises that might keep Kono from leaving him again, anything that pops into his head. He kisses across Kono's shoulders, all the places he used to know, that he's been dreaming about, trying to drown with liquor and sunshine.

Kono is stroking Steve's hair, gasping up to the ceiling when Steve traces the tip of his tongue around one nipple, hands on Kono's ribs, feeling her breathe, in and out and _alive_.

"Steve, Steve, _Steve..._" Kono keens and he sinks to his knees and pulls Kono down, wrapping his arms around Kono and burying his face against Kono's neck and clinging to her.

His fingers fumble over her zipper, but he manages, and it's worth it for the breathy moan Kono makes when Steve pushes two fingers into her. She's tight and wet and familiar and Steve presses his forehead against Kono's, skin sliding slick together as he gasps and pants and manages to yank his own pants open.

Their legs are all tangled together, and Kono has an arm around Steve's shoulders, holding him close, like they're in a cocoon away from the rest of the world. Steve likes that, shifting closer, mouthing kisses across Kono's cheeks, lips sliding against each other, swallowing a groan when he presses into her, hot and slick and _fuck_...

"Oh, god," Kono gasps against his mouth and Steve nods, shaky, his strokes deep and sharp because he needs, needs, needs...things that he doesn't even know or understand. Kono's fingers are gripping hard at Steve's shoulder, and her skin against his is burning hot.

And right before she comes, Kono jerks, meeting Steve's gaze, brown eyes blown wide and she breaths,

"I came back for you," and Steve makes a helpless noise, tumbling after her, kissing her hard and he is never, ever, going to let Kono go again.

He's gonna kill anyone that tries to take her.

"I wanna go home." He mumbles against her neck right before they fall asleep.

.

.

The thing is that it's all completely random, which just seems so completely unreal and unfair.

They've been back in Hawaii for like two weeks and it's bad enough to have to see people that Steve would rather forget existed.

It's even worse to run into them at a fucking gas station.

"Oh, Steve, it's so...nice...to run into you," Catherine says and she smiles that winning smile of hers. It's amazing how sincere she sounds, and Steve's sure that it's only going to make him sound worse when he can't quite match her pleased surprise.

So Steve decides not to even bother trying. He goes for unconcerned indifference instead, which might not be the best idea either, seeing as according to her, that was the attitude that drove them apart in the first place but it's the best he can do when he nods his head.

"Catherine."

He prays that the entire conversation just gets left at that. She's got her car keys in her hand, along with a coffee from inside. She's obviously paid so she can just get into her car and drive away and Steve can pretend that they never ran into each other, wait for Kono to bring out their coffees, get in the car, and drive until this gas station is nothing but a memory.

But of course it isn't that easy. Catherine tosses her hair over her shoulder and says,

"So what are you doing here? I thought you were still…" She trails off and rolls her eyes, waving her hand in an absent gesture.

Steve makes himself smile. He can do small talk. There was a time when he used to be good at it. He shrugs, leaning against the side of his father's old Mercury Marquis and trying to be as concise as possible.

"Just moved back. I resigned." It's probably rude to not ask her what she's doing on the island, but Steve's still hoping she'll get the hint and go away.

Apparently she's not. Catherine nods instead, taking a drink from her coffee.

"Really? Why? Found something more interesting?" Steve doesn't think that they ever had a conversation this long while they were together. He doesn't see why she's trying to start one now.

"I think so." Steve shrugs again, in any case, pushing his sunglasses a little higher up the bridge of his nose and wondering if he should be relieved or worried to see Kono exiting the gas station and heading towards him.

And then Kono is there, handing Steve his coffee and God, she remembered that he liked sour jelly beans and got him a bag and for a useless moment all he can do is stare down at the candy while he should probably be handling introductions or something.

Or maybe he should just leave the talking to Kono, who's saying, completely ignoring Catherine,

"Are you ready to go? The office is going to be closed for lunch if we get caught in more traffic and Danny called like three times already and I'm afraid that Chin's gonna shoot him soon."

Steve nods, opening his mouth to say his goodbyes to Catherine, who cuts in with,

"Office, Steve? I thought you said you were doing something interesting."

Kono turns to look at Catherine then, raising her eyebrows and frowning impressively. The coffee gets set on the hood of the car to allow for arm-crossing, and Kono says,

"And who are you supposed to be?" with impatience dripping off of the words.

Catherine opens her mouth, and Steve predicts that absolutely nothing she could possibly say would be good.

"This is Catherine. Uh, Catherine Rollins...Captain, now, right?" He blurts before she can say a word.

Steve isn't expecting Kono to suck in a sharp breath, squaring her shoulders up and narrowing her eyes.

"Oh. Catherine. Nice to meet you. I'm Kono," She says, her voice sounding a little funny.

Steve really isn't expecting it when they shake hands, though the way Catherine winces after a moment isn't really a surprise. The two women are just staring at each other, and Steve feels increasingly cut out of the situation.

"Pleasure to meet you. Do you work with Steve?" Catherine says, still cheery.

Kono's mouth does a weird, twisting thing that Steve likes not at all and her voice sounds off when she says,

"Yes, I do. We work together," and she reaches up, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

Catherine's smile stretches a little bit wider and Steve isn't really sure what's going on here, but it's not the tone he wants to set for the day.

Which is why he reaches out, wrapping an arm around Kono's shoulders and pulling her close and tight against his side. She feels good there, and Steve feels lighter than he has since he recognized Catherine, almost gleeful all of a sudden.

"We do everything together, actually. And she's marrying me. Today." He says, grinning like a lovesick idiot.

Catherine's mouth falls open, and Kono twists to blink at Steve. He grins at her, leaning in and kissing her, quick and hard before pulling the car door open. They really do have to get going if they're not going to be late. And Steve really doesn't want to be late.

He waves at Catherine, hood-sliding across the car just for the hell of it and almost busting the fuck out of his hip. Kono laughs at him when he manages to drag himself into the car. When they pull out, Catherine is still staring after them, and Kono reaches out, taking his hand and squeezing before pulling it towards her to press it against her swollen belly hidden under her flowy shirt.

.

.

Kono says things like,

"No, I should probably go back to the HQ now that we're done lunch," and, "I'm not made of glass, Steve," and, "You realize that I was doing hard labor in the first few months already, right?" Then she says, "What? Steve, hey, I'm right here, I'm right here."

Steve nods, because his throat is too tight for him to force out a single word. He knows he might be holding her too tightly, but he can't relax his grip. He thought that he'd made his peace with her kidnapping, with the fact that she was taken from him and nearly killed while carrying his child. He thought that he'd gotten past that.

Now her stomach is swelling with their child, and Steve can feel it against his body every time he pulls her close. He slides one of his hands down to the small of her back, holding her tight and turning his face against her hair, breathing in the smell of her.

She's so warm. She's alive. She's here. With him. Where he can protect her and everything she is to him. He presses a kiss to her hair.

Kono's grip is strong where she holds onto him, her breath is warm against his neck.

"Steve, it's okay," She murmurs and he nods again. "Everything is okay."

"Yeah. I – yeah," His voice still comes out hoarse and Steve makes himself ease his grip on her, leaning back just a little. It's so hard to take his hands off of her, so he doesn't. She's staring at him hard and Steve meets her gaze, sliding his hand around to her stomach, spreading his fingers as wide as he can.

"Hey, I want to – can I talk to him?" He asks tentatively.

For a beat Kono just stares at him, tilting her head a little to the side. She slides her hand down, covering his with hers. He desperately wants to feel the baby kick, but for the moment all he can feel is Kono's heartbeat, steady and fast.

"Fine, fine, but try not to take all day." She says, rolling her eyes.

She takes a step backwards and he follows her, keeping as close to her as he can. She pauses at the foot of the bed, leans in to kiss him, and then sits down slowly.

Steve follows her, bracing his hands on the mattress on either side of her. She reclines back on her elbows, and then moves a little up the bed. Steve curls up beside her, reaching out and slowly pushing up her shirt. The skin on her stomach stretched but still smooth and familiar so he leans over to kiss it softly.

"Steve..." Kono whispers tenderly and Steve shakes his head.

Words aren't as hard to find as he'd figured they would be. He rests his forehead against Kono's stomach, whispers,

"Hey there, buddy. Everything okay in there?" Above his head, Kono snorts with amusement, threading her fingers back into his hair, stroking slowly.

"We're all looking forward to meeting you out here." Steve smiles a little bit himself moving closer, wrapping an arm around her, and then sliding his other beneath her back. It's so easy to just fit himself around her, so he does.

Kono just keeps stroking his hair.

They are finally home.


End file.
